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Posted by on in Personal and Diary
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Empty. Cold. Numb. Drained and Frightened. How you feel when you realize clearly you were with evil. Touched by its dirty, filthy, yellowed- stained unkempt overgrown fingernails. Looked into the eyes with its toothless, hollow, lying grin. How could you have stayed with it so long? How could you have trusted it again, how could evil be in so many forms? In a form that worked so hard to make itself look good. The signs were there, the young innocents claiming corruption and betrayal and victimization. The pathetic played with wives and their foolish ignorant husbands. The admiring giggles at its obvious madness and hypocrisy. The great brags it makes and its everlasting endeavor to prove itself innocent, true, and superior. The over righteous fathers, friends, and champions pleading their cause. Everytime they warned you, you went back to evil to hear his side. You almost saw the truth. But you choose to believe the lie. To believe that something you wanted to be real so badly, something that you needed to be real was when it wasn’t. When you first saw it you knew it was bad, wrong, disgusting and you needed to escape, but you convinced yourself. Gave it the very excuses it used with you, made for it the lies it used to win you. Why? Because you needed something you couldn’t find, because you played with the fire before, evil was something you never faced for what it was but something that you had grown to know, something that had hurt you deep. A pain that you trusted, a pain that was familiar. But your body knew, it wouldn’t let you completely surrender. It knew that the nasty smoked filled lungs that kissed and forced you to cover over its nasty smell with alcohol was not for you. Somehow you would never accept that evil was your final choice.

But somehow unknown circumstances and forces set you free, how did you become so fortunate? You are the victim type, the one that let’s yourself be played, the prey to the hunter. You are nothing special, only the victim that brought on the obsession, so how did you escape? Because the truth is that unless you remove yourself from the con, and the lie you can never possibly see the truth. Once you are out you can see it so clearly, watch evil reenact all its devices and machinations all over again. I guess the entertainment world warns us when it portrays and plays out all the sadistic things that people think and do. Sadly you didn’t heed the warnings, the subtle hints in the world’s creative outlets that show all facets of the human soul. You ignored the blatant real-life proof of the others who the evil touched. Then you watched as evil used the lies to portray them as crazy, washed-up, drunk, jealous and manipulative turned on you. Now you were the crazy one. That’s when evil smacked you with an unexpected left hook right in the face; you suddenly had a full realization of truth and could see it for what it truly was. Of everything you had with it nothing was real, nothing was true. You were no longer the special one the different one that made evil look better, evil found its new partner, because you refused to play it’s game.

The funny thing is evil keeps all its trophies. Boasts of its triumphs. Actually tells you of its insatiable greed and lust and what it hopes to get from its current victims, how it could share the gain with you. Make you like itself, its lover. Warns you that it will try to come back for you when the current victim is used up unless you want to play with him and his current willing victims now. Evil wants everyone.So technically no one has to fall for it. Actually sometimes evil just finds itself. Evil starts out with lies and excuses then it finally says so what and makes sure you’re the crazy one. It collects pieces of its victims, personal intimate details that it shares and uses to its own advantage to weaken the minds of those that surrounds it. Interestingly evil doesn’t hide this filthiness it lets you find it and tries to make you a part of it, make you believe you’re the cause of it. Makes you wonder if evil believes its own lies. It titillates, and satisfies the curiosity seekers. It’s a car wreck, the twisted violated, innocent, and not so innocent, the damaged and the causalities. It’s all horrible but somehow you were fascinated and you couldn’t look away.

Once you’ve played with evil there is nothing that you can do. You can't be friends with it, and try to look for the good, because there is none. You are corrupted in some way. It touched you and you are tainted. You can just be grateful that you have the choice to walk away. Let it fester and leak its own putrid puss all over its self and whoever it touches next. Shake off the dirt and dust- heal your own wounds. Just remember it will always try to stab you, suck you back in, use its evil twisted lies to make you look bad, to corrupt and convince who it is touching now, and who it will touch next. Just be happy you know the truth, the evil is gone, and be aware the next time it shows its ugly face.

After Guildwars 2, Forsaken World, and now Age of Wushu and Tera... sems so long ago and so far away. Yet it was my first online experience and I miss you all


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